Saturday, January 31, 2015

There is always a gift

Ever since my diagnosis of breast cancer, I've noticed more attraction in action in my life. Sometimes I feel like Pee Wee Herman in the scene from Pee Wee's Big Adventure where he keeps seeing bicycles over and over, as he searches so hard for his own bike.

However, unlike Pee Wee, I am quite happy with what I am seeing, because what I am seeing is positive and inspiring.  I like to think that the Divine Creator and my guides are not only listening to my thoughts and prayers they are making it clear they are listening in the most obvious of ways.  I know this goes on all the time, but most of us are too caught up in extraneous factors to notice signs, synchronicity and messages.  Having cancer makes you more least it has for me.  While I still catch myself worrying about tomorrow, this is happening with less and less frequency.  When I find this happening, I immediately bring my thoughts back to the present.  A dear friend of mine suggested Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  I'm glad she did.  I listened to the audio book shortly after my diagnosis, and have adopted several "I am" mantras as a way of drawing to me the highest and most positive intentions for healing and manifestations. Phrases such as, "I am healthy", "I am strong" and "I am cancer free" are just a few that I use. These phrases have truly helped me remain positive and I do feel strength and perfect health coming to me. The other day, I was in the car and I found myself drifting to a dark place.  I immediately began my I am chants.  As I was finishing, a car pulled in front of me and the license plate read I am with a series of numbers after it.  I immediately felt tremendous gratitude, because I knew I was being heard. I am seeing more and more commercials for cancer centers around the country and stories about people who have overcome the odds, or have given back their good fortune to aid others. It is very uplifting.  Facebook has been another source of attraction in action.  While I understand that FB tailors a great deal of what you see based on what you like and click on, this is still a form of attraction.  I have been posting more and more messages of hope and faith and I'm seeing these posts by others.  I am seeing suggestions about healthy eating, meditation and spirituality.  My news feed is now a source of healing for me.  I am also connecting with friends past and present who have been through or are going through cancer. Their strength is a constant source of inspiration for me and has inspired me in ways I cannot begin to explain.  I feel a debt of gratitude that I wish to pass on to others.  I feel much like George Bailey did at the end of It's a Wonderful Life when he discovers that he is the richest man in town, because of those who truly care for him.

I think there are times in our lives when we feel we have not made an impact on others, or that our lives truly don't amount to much.  It is a part of human nature. But the truth is, we all matter. We all make an impact. As Clarence said,  "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives."  My eyes have been opened wide by the messages of love and compassion.  I know I am forever changed by this cancer.  While the journey may be difficult, I see the gift of it all.  I wonder if I would have been this awake if I had not ever had cancer.  I don't think so.  Life is funny that way.