Saturday, August 29, 2015

Closing the book



One of the reasons I am taking a short break from weekly oracle card readings is that I just had port removal surgery.  In fact, it was yesterday.  I'm a bit sore today, but wanted to write about this part of my cancer journey coming to a close.  In many ways, it is the final chapter, although, I do realize that the book never really closes, metaphorically speaking.  I will still be dealing with follow-up visits to my team of doctors, as well as the emotions.   As I said, yesterday was my port removal procedure.  I have mentioned synchronicity before with regards to this journey and yesterday was one of those moments.  Let me back track to the day before surgery.  A friend of mine sent me a facebook message about angels watching over me and to forward this message to others, etc.  I'm not a big one for these types of things, because in essence they are chain mail messages and in many ways perpetuate fear.  If you don't do this, this will occur, or if you do forward this, something wonderful will occur.  No offence to the dear one who sent the message to me, as her heart was in the right place. Normally, I do not send these out, but because I was scheduled for surgery the following day, I allowed my paranoia to take over and decided, why not.  I could use a little heavenly watching over. I sent the messages, closed up my kindle and made my way out the door to pick up my son from band camp.  Here is the irony.  I open the door, and just as I am about to take my first step outside, a feather lands at my feet.  My eyes went immediately to this small grey and white feather, something I may have missed under any other circumstances.  I picked it up and ran back into the house to show my husband.  I was covered with cold chills and immediately thanked the Universe for its message.  I placed the feather in my lucky acorn box for safe keeping.  You might remember me blogging about finding a feather on the first day of my chemo treatment.  Well, as it turns out, my port surgery was 4 months to the day that I finished my last chemo. For those who do not know what a port is, it is a device used to inject chemo into the body. So, it was very apropos that I would have the port removed on 8/28.  Even more interesting was that the doctor who performed the insertion of my port was the same doctor to remove it.  Okay, maybe that isn't that strange, but I thought it was profound. I chose to remain awake for this procedure, unlike the first time.  The first time, I had mild sedation, because it was the first time I had ever had any kind of surgical procedure and I was a basket case of fear.  Not that I wasn't nervous about the removal.  However, after everything I have been through the last 8 months, I find myself more on the side of brave than fear.  Yeah for brave!  The procedure went very well.  Other than the shots of numbing agent and the weird sensation of what the doctor was actually doing, I laughed and joked with him and his assistant Josh.  Josh prepped me for the procedure and got me nice and relaxed by playing Dave Matthews in the background.  Josh is a big DM fan and talked about the concerts he'd been to and showed me a tattoo on his lower arm that pertained to DM.  Very cool dude.  He is into synchronicity too and we talked a bit about that.  I got him teary eyed when I shared a story of when I had first been diagnosed with cancer, my husband danced with me to DM's, You and Me, and how he promised we would dance to it again when all this was over. When the doctor finished sewing me up, a DM song was playing.  I wish I could remember the name of it, but I remember the words having to do with change and choices and moving forward. Seems appropriate.

So, as I close the chapter on this book, I now move forward into the next book and pray for no sequels.  Off to go share a dance with my husband.